Residents' Page

Heritage Hunt Resident Has Novel Published I would like our fellow residents to know that my wife, Karen Brown, has just had her first novel published. It can be ordered on-line from Barnes and Noble. You can also read a review of the book there. The website is, www.bn.com Click on Bookstore On the Books page select Titles from the search window type A Hard Dry Road in the window and click GO OR Click Here Do not try to find the book under Authors, as there are other Karen Browns out there, one of whom has written about a zillion travel books. Karen's novel is also available on www.amazon.com. She is planning a book signing at the Clubhouse soon and will have about 50 copies of the book available then. Jennifer Heynes, a reporter for the The Bull Run Observer, has interviewed Karen for an article that should appear in the next edition of that newspaper. Karen has also had an article published about our nearby eatery, "Park Place." It can be obtained by writing to: Scribble 2800 Gibbons Avenue Baltimore, MD 21214 Request Volume 5, Issue I featuring the work of Karen Brown. The issue has several other interesting articles by local writers. The cost, including postage and handling is $8.00.

Thanks to: Mike Brown

From The Original Hollywood Squares TV Show These questions and answers are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.So sit back and remember how funny TV used to be - these are priceless! Q: Do female frogs croak? A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high? A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q: True or false, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A: George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.... Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married? A: Rose Marie: No, I would wait until morning. Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"? A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. Q: What are "Do It," "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"? A: George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the apartment next door. Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking? A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget! Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year? A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries! Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score? A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other? A: Paul Lynde: Tape measurers. Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm ALWAYS safe in the bedroom. Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A: Marty Allen: Only after the lights are out. Q: When you pat a dog on its head, he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do? A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark. Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A: Charley Weaver: No, it got me out of the army! Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting, "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean? A: George Gobel: Cattle crossing. Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body; what is it? A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected! Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 180 pounds? A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex? A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him. Q: James Stewart did it over 20 years ago, when he was 41 years old. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it? A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming. Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A: Charley Weaver: His feet.

Thanks to: Mike Brown

The Petroleum Institute A Campaign To Try And Make People Aware Of Fires As A Result Of "Static" At Gas Pumps Research from 150 cases of "Static" fires. The results were very surprising: 1) Out of 150 cases, almost all of them were women. 2) Almost all cases involved the person getting back in their vehicle while the nozzle was still pumping gas, when finished and they went back to pull the nozzle out the fire started, as a result of static. 3) Most had on rubber-soled shoes. 4) Most men never get back in their vehicle until completely finished. This is why they are seldom involved in these types of fires. 5) Don't ever use cell phones when pumping gas 6) It is the vapors that come out of the gas that cause the fire, when connected with static charges. 7) There were 29 fires where the vehicle was reentered and the nozzle was touched during refueling from a variety of makes and models. Some resulting in extensive damage to the vehicle, to the station, and to the customer. 8) Seventeen fires that occurred before, during or immediately after the gas cap was removed and before fueling began. Mr. Renkes stresses to NEVER get back into your vehicle while filling it with gas. If you absolutely HAVE to get in your vehicle while the gas is pumping, make sure you get out, close the door TOUCHING THE METAL, before you ever pull the nozzle out. This way the static from your body will be discharged before you ever remove the nozzle. As I mentioned earlier, The Petroleum Equipment Institute, along with several other companies now, are really trying to make the public aware of this danger. You can find out more information by going to www.pei.org/. Once here, click in the center of the screen where it says "Stop Static". I ask you to please send this information to ALL your family and friends, especially those who have kids in the car with them while pumping gas. If this were to happen to them, they may not be able to get the children out in time.

Thanks to: Neil Hepp

Spraying Bugs Your # 1 "Handy Dandy Trick" reminded me of a time when my wife grabbed the spray starch instead of the bug spray to attack a wasp that got into our kitchen. It worked so well that we used it from that time on because we didn't have to worry about the spray settling onto our cooking and eating surfaces.

Thanks to: Bob Laslo

Dioxins On Channel 2 this morning. They had a Dr. Edward Fujimoto from Castle Hospital on the program. He is the manager of the Wellness Program at the hospital. He was talking about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat and plastics releases dioxins into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Dioxins are carcinogens and highly toxic to the cells of our bodies. Instead, he recommends using glass, Corning Ware, or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results without the dioxins. So such things as TV dinners, instant foods and soups, etc. should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. Just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He said we might remember when some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.

Thanks to:Mel Ross

Handy Dandy Tricks Flies or bees bothering you? Spray them with hair spray and they will take a quick dive. Sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed. Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to. For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn Dishwashing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't refreeze. (Wish I had known this all this time). Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is). Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like A store receipt BLUE)! rubbing alcohol on paper towel. Whenever I purchase a box of SOS Pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical. And now a box of SOS pads last me indefinitely! In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get sharpened this way! Opening brand new jars can be a feat in itself. Well, I have found away to make it the easiest thing to do. Instead of banging a jar of jam, pickles, etc., with a knife until it loosens up, I simply reach into the drawer and pull out the handy nutcracker. It adjusts to the size of the jar and I simply give it a good twist and off pops the lid! Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time! Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight v! inegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak. Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on. [Don't do this on a hot bulb!] Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen. Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning. To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a charm! To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on sto! ve top. Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains. When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness. Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief. Ants, ants, ants everywhere ... get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or where! ver ants tend to march. Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine. When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily. Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer. *Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait 20 minutes, brush & flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China. *Clean a vase. To remove stain from bottom of glass vase/cruet, fill with water & drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets. *Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes. *Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer if necessary). *Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water. Do your friends a favor? Pass this timely (and some not-so-timely) information on to a friend or two.

Thanks to:Norm Happ

10 Benefits of Growing Old In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. People calling at 9:00 P.M. ask "Did I wake you?" You can eat dinner at 4:00 P.M. You can live without sex but not without glasses. You get into a heated argument about pension plans. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks in the room. You sing along with elevator music. Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them.

Thanks to:Dan Ferentinos